I just saw this on Instagram thanks to being tagged by my friend Kim (hey girl!). I couldn’t have said it better myself. Not only did I repost but I thought it would be a great topic to open up some dialog here on the blog!
Have you ever had this conversation with one of your relaxed-haired girlfriends? She tells you how cute your hair is and “you look good with natural hair but I don’t think I could ever go natural… It’s not for everyone”. Sure, every STYLE may not be for everyone but umm, it’s the hair that grows… out of your head! HOW CAN IT NOT BE “FOR YOU”?! I’m sorry ladies, I get confused when I hear this nonsense. What really makes my eye twitch is when they take it a little further talmbout “uh-uh, you don’t understand. My hair is too nappy for me to go natural!” Huh?! (-_-) *deep & heavy sigh*
Sound off y’all… How do you respond to this type of warped thinking? (Oh, yes. It’s warped!)
xoxo
~Toia
I used to say that before I decided to BC. There are moments I can understand women who say that because there is a level of dedication and care that goes into our natural hair that does not go into relaxed hair unless they do very long stretches btwn relaxers. For some women that level of dedication isn’t on their agenda. Some ppl are born blonde but dye their hair red cuz as a blonde they look like a ghost but no one cares about that. Sometimes we forget that one of the best things to come out of the natural hair movement was it allowed us to realize we have a choice in what we believe to be beautiful and I guess manageable for each individual. Not everyone has to be natural. It’s their hair their choice as long as they don’t hat on our choice or degrade it then we should respect their decision.
I used to feel that way. Because I’ve seen women just wear their hair any old way and it turned Me off, but once I went to a natural hair show at meekos in south Orange nj. It started my mind set or rather change my thinking. A couple of months went by and I nervously tried it and I love it, even though I have a twa, I still love it.
That’s great to hear Carol! A change of thinking is definitely important.
The quote irritates me because people conflate different hair natural STYLES with natural hair itself. Your texture cannot be anything BUT for you; I defy somebody to tell me that these coils don’t go with this skin..
On the other hand, I may look better with a fluffy mid-sized fro than a fade, but everybody is allowed their hair exploration š
I’m fairly understanding if someone hits me with, “I can’t go natural because my hair is too _____________” because I too was once there. Many people don’t realize that to truly commit to returning to natural that a mental shift must take place as well. This means taking a critical look at societal constructions of beauty as well as our own personal definitions of beauty, which can be quite eye opening.
My normal response is that of the graphic posted above. In addition to that I tell people that when you go natural you have to re-learn your hair, just as you had to do when you got a relaxer. The learning curve is steep, but once you figure it out it’s smooth sailing.
One little nugget that I always leave people with is, no one will think you’re fly unless you think you’re fly. It doesn’t matter how you wear your hair or what you have on your head, but if you’re not confident about it and don’t own it no one else will see the beauty within you.
I echo your sentiments Joy! I have often remarked like the graphic and I have to giggle when I do so people don’t feel as if I’m attacking them. Lol I do my best to be patient with people who hit me with these remarks. While I was relaxed at one time, I never had an issue with natural hair in general or thought mine was “too” anything so sometimes it’s hard for me to wrap my brain around this thinking. But you’re absolutely right, the mindset needs to change and a dose of confidence is also important.
totally agree with this post! I think most people just don’t want to deal with the hard work it takes to maintain your hair in its natural state. and lmbo at “talmbout” lol
I was that person a long time ago. **hangs head in shame** I didn’t think I could do it, but always admired natural hair ladies. I had to find my own confidence and courage to get my mind right and do it. Not only do it, but know and accept that it IS they way God intended me to be. I was just plain ole ignorant. Shameless plug approaching………….Go to my website, http://www.natsupreme.com, and check out “A Letter To My Former Relax Haired Self”, I touched on it in that blog post.
Ha! Shameless plug accepted. š Thanks for your honesty and commenting from that angle, sharing your story! I gotta go take a look at that post.